Dear 21 Year Old Me.

Before I start this post I need to give credit where credit is due. I stole this idea from Katie, whose blog you need to read immediately. There are many different ways to structure these letters, but I'm going to structure mine like she did hers.

Back in the 8th grade, we were given an assignment similar to this. We were told to write letters to ourselves and they were mailed to us within the year after we graduated high school. I received mine and was quite disappointed. I specifically remember that I did quickly write the letter because I was taking care of other things during class time. The letter was generic and didn't explain my emotional state whatsoever. I will try harder this time to really explain how I'm feeling right now. We were even given the opportunity to write letters to others that we were leaving 8th grade with. I don't remember who I wrote one too, if any, but I only got 1 sent to me from Amy Tripp. So thanks for thinking of me, Amy.

So.. without further a due:

Dear 21 Year Old Me,

You are, of course, writing this at 11:54 the night before your last final of the semester rather than studying. I imagine that unless you were forced into it, you still find ways around taking care of anything than the most important task at hand. You're writing this in an anxious mood because you're less than 24 hours away from starting winter break and walking away from the worst semester you've had in college. You've thought for the last week about what you would say in this letter and decided that you will go ahead and make a list of things you will regret and things you will not regret. So here goes:

Things you will regret:
You will regret not living up to your full potential in school. This is not an easy pill for you to swallow right now, but at this very moment you are kicking yourself for not spending as much time studying as you should have.

You will regret worrying about so many people that I can guarantee will not be apart of your life by the time this letter reaches you. In fact, you will most likely sit around pondering about who exactly you were talking about when you were writing this. Cameron won't know either, so good luck figuring it out.

You will regret passing judgment on others before giving them a chance.

You will regret being an extremist. For real girl, cut the drama.

You will regret not making more of an effort to have a relationship with your dad. You will regret the time you spent angry at him. You will regret the time that was lost with your other family because of your bitterness and resentment. You will someday realize that the past is the past. 

You will regret talking about so many people behind their back.

You will regret letting others walk all over you.

You will regret not giving those who really care about you, more of your attention. You're (you will regret that you originally wrote "your" and had to go back and edit it) young and can still be naive about things, but you know that you took others for granted a lot.

You will regret not appreciating your mom more in present time. You will regret hurting her feelings.

Overall, you will regret putting more emphasis on things that didn't matter and less time on things that do.

Things you will not regret:
You will absolutely not regret transferring to Parkside after your first year of college and moving back home. This was the best personal move you could have made and it taught you a lot about yourself.

You will never regret not dating anyone else prior to marrying Cameron. You will never regret anything about Cameron, period.

You will never regret or forget the first time you decided to give Great Lakes Church a chance. This church has changed your life. Wherever your spiritual journey takes you from here, without this church you may have never found God. You will also not regret being upfront and honest about your religion at a young age. You've found peace and hope that no other group could ever offer you.

While you will regret not trying harder in school, you will not regret finishing your bachelor's degree in 4 years. Even though when you entered college you thought it was just the norm to finish college in that time span, you will quickly realize how fortunate you were to be able to graduate on time without life getting in the way.

I need to bold this because it's important: you will never, in your life, regret not being apart of the party scene. When you read this again years from now, you will not be bummin' about the fact that you missed so many parties when you were in your late teens and early twenties. It won't happen, older you and current you know that.

You will not regret the times, even at 21 and younger, you didn't give into others and walked away from bad situations. You learned from this.

You will not regret being you. You will not regret being mature and spending time with older people. You will not regret investing time in yourself and putting yourself first when it mattered most.

--

That felt good! I don't know how I'll get this letter back to myself later on, but I'll figure it out.

-B