The importance of investing in my marriage before the wedding.

Let me start by saying, we are less than 6 months away from the wedding. I am 105 emotions deep and knowing that the wedding is so close is as exciting as it is terrifying. It was almost as if the day we got engaged, time suddenly went into overdrive and here we are now in our wedding year.

I'm very blessed to have great women who have ministered to me during my engagement. I've been spending a lot of time with one of these women recently. She's very important to me, among many reasons, because since day 1 she has understood and accepted me for my past and all that has come with it. She knows more about me than most people do and the relationship I have with her is one I really cherish. She's a wife and a mom and a great friend to me. She shares all of the advice and guidance she can about marriage with me and recently she told me something along the lines of "after the wedding.. you'll just be another couple.. after you have kids.. you'll just be another set of parents and eventually just another family". This is so true. Here I am in the heart of one of the most eventful times of my life and in the snap of a finger the spotlight will redirect to the next engaged couple and we will just be, married.

What is most interesting is that as an engaged couple it is so easy to get caught up in what we're going to do for the day of, what's the dress going to look like, real or fake flowers, DJ or band, any little people in the wedding? and the list goes on, but Cameron and I have tried our hardest not to be naive about what's really ahead. Because after the I Dos, the first dance and the honeymoon, we will be smack dab into our first year of marriage. July 14th will absolutely be a day that we will remember, but it is only one day of the rest of our lives.

Let's face it, anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that it's hard. I've talked about it before that there have been stages of our relationship where I didn't think we'd make it, but we did. These hardships don't disappear once the rings are on both fingers. I know marriage will be hard. The odds are stacked against us, we come from families with a lot of divorces and heartache. The most clarity that has been brought to us is our ability to recognize this at our age and stage of our lives together. God has been so good to us in helping us have these hard conversations that neither of us really want to have.

This is why having mentors and pre-marriage counseling has really been the most important part of this whole planning process. It helps when others notice this. Just the other day a friend told me, "most of the time I'm so against couples our age getting married, but not with you - you're being so smart about this". It's uplifting to know that while we will never plan as much as we want to we are truly investing time into making our marriage successful before the wedding. So yes, eventually we will just be another married couple, but I hope that someday we can be the ones ministering to others the same way our mentors have invested in us.

Gratitude.

One more thing..

We had a great service today at church on gratitude. This series is called "margin" and I thought this was a great topic to start the new year with. I want to share some of the notes from today's outline:

Gratitude...
helps us maintain the proper perspective 
sustains joy in our life
allows people to find a blessing, enlarge a blessing or create one in almost any situation.

and..

Gratitude begins where our sense of entitlement ends

This is all so true. I think of all the times I began to just expect that things should go one way or that I have a right to something. There are a number of times I haven't given proper praise to those who deserve it - this is another thing I'm hoping to be more conscious of this year.

Also, this is a video I came across just a week ago that I think describes the times we live in and gratitude perfectly --

Looking forward, looking back.

So, it's 2012. Um.. what?

I unfortunately started this year with a cold that I've had for the last few days. I was in bed early last night and while it wasn't that thrilling of a night - I'm looking forward to this year. Before I dive into this year, I want to reflect on this year's high and low lights.

Back in February, I broke my ankle. What a way to start the year, huh? It was the first time I've dealt with a serious injury. It took 2 surgeries and a lot of therapy to get me back to normal, but all in all it could have been a lot worse.

On May 6th, Cameron and I got engaged! That was such a great day and the whole reason this blog came to be.

I'm the type of person that believes everything happens for a distinct purpose. If I had never broken my ankle, I wouldn't of had the motivation I did to start running. In July, I started the couch to 5k program and in September I ran my first 5k and in October my second. I was lucky enough to run my second with my friend, Drew.

Yes, I wore the same shirt for both :)

About a month after running my 5ks, I was going through some serious hip pain which brought me to the chiropractor where I found out about some issues I'm having with my back. I'm happy to say that I'm doing so much better today. While there have been days of struggle, I had planned on getting back to running in January and look forward to starting again. 

Which brings us to now.. January 1st. 

There's a lot in store this year for me individually and for Cameron and I. 

Let's start with running. 

Since I haven't done any serious running in a couple of months, I plan on starting out slow this month. I need to build myself up at a pace that I know I can handle and that won't worsen or bring back the back pain. Cameron and I plan on running a 5k together at the end of February, early March. From there, we will be running a 10k, 15k and the ultimate goal is still a half marathon. While my previous goal was to run the half at the Wisconsin marathon in May, it depends on how these next few months go. I want to be realistic about this. By this time next year, my goal and our goal is to run a half marathon. 

I graduate on May 12th! This semester I have a light load, 13 credits, with a lot of great professors I've already had or know. Should be a great end to my undergraduate career. 

The next one we have been building the foundation for since the summer, but are really taking it seriously starting this year. I mentioned in previous posts that Cameron and I were apart of a growth group called Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey. First, I want to say if you are ever given an opportunity to take this course - take it. You will not regret it. It's a realistic look at how to handle your money and how you get yourself out of debt. When it comes down to it, Cameron and I collectively have a lot of student loan debt going into our marriage. We are fortunate to not have that much credit card debt (no thank you, gap card with a 24% interest rate) but what it comes down to is that we need to get ourselves out of the hole we are in. Yes, a college education is worth the money, but looking back on it I should have applied for scholarships and thought harder about where I would be 4 years later in 2008. Using Dave Ramsey's total money makeover plan, we will be on a budget for the first time starting this month. Every penny will have a place to go, before it is spent. It's widely known that finances can rip a marriage apart and it has taken Cameron and I a long time to get to where we are today, but I am so happy we are taking this step forward. Most importantly that we are doing it together. 

Last, but not least, weight loss. This Christmas I got a juicier for Christmas (thanks mom) and I will tell you why. A few months back, I watched an amazing documentary called Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead. It is on an Australian man, dealing with a serious condition that causes him to experience a pain like a mosquito bite at random times all over his body. He had become frustrated with all of the meds he was on, the different explanations he was getting from doctors and knew he had to take hold of his life. He juiced for 60 days, his diet included fruits, veggies and nuts (for protein). In that time he lost nearly 100 pounds and after a short period of eating raw fruit and veggies following the 60 days, he was off his meds completely. This is inspiring. It makes you take a hard look at the toll you put on your body year after year with processed food. I invite all of you watch it and check the website. I want to incorporate juicing into my diet heavily this year. While I don't think I could ever do a 60 day fast, my goal is a 7 day one this month. I've been doing my research and just need to make sure I have all my bases covered. I juiced this morning for breakfast (2 pears, 2 apples) and it is delicious. I see the 2 biggest barriers being juicing vegetables and not eating solid food. More on that later! 

2011 was just a stepping stone into my life that will change drastically this year. 2012 will be an incredible year.