"Where the hell is the finish line?"

These were my exact words I shouted to my mom when I was just seconds away from the end of the race.

I can't really say I was overwhelmed with joy right away. When I finished there was one guy telling me to turn around when I started walking out of the finish line and another one saying he needed my number off my shirt, I was more flustered than anything right away. We took some pictures and my mom, sister and aunt left and I waited around with Cameron for my final time. I was greeted by a friend who pointed me in the right direction. It was confirmed, 48:23. My original goal for this 5k was 45 minutes, but my practice 5k on Monday was 50 minutes and when I saw all the people that were at the race today - my main goal was to not come in last.

Let's back track here. I've had a really great month of running leading up to this. I was hitting milestones left and right and becoming much more comfortable with running outside since all of my training prior to September was on the track or treadmill. If I would have done anything differently it would have been training outside from the start and sticking to it. Not that the treadmill and track hindered me from anything because I felt it was nice to transition through the weeks of c25k trying out each, but running outside is honestly the most enjoyable for me personally. When I went from running 2 miles, to 2.5, to 2.75 I knew it was getting serious. There was no turning back.. I was going to do this 5k whether I wanted to or not. I HAD to do it. 

As with all change and new events in my life, I dealt with some serious anxiety last night and today. I got barely any sleep and it was hard to eat today, but I managed to calm down some once I got to Lake Andrea. I didn't know many people there.. while it was good to see at least a few familiar faces it may have been a good thing I was surrounded by mostly strangers. There was just a lot less pressure (not that anyone is really watching anyone else.. except the person in front of them to speed ahead at the end :)) The trail didn't get difficult until we entered the woods. We were there for at least a half mile and I hadn't done an ounce of training on anything outside, but concrete and it showed. I slowed down a ton, but after I went by a volunteer I was right around 15 minutes for my first mile which made me much less nervous about the woods. As we exited the woods I saw my mom and then my sister and aunt and that was definitely a turning point of the race. It was a moment where I realized, you are not alone Brittany! There are people here who love you and even those who aren't here are behind you 100% I think that's the hardest thing about trying something new - you feel so alone, but everyone who loves you only wants the best for you and for you to succeed. I looked ahead at the rest of the course around the lake and began to panic a bit. It seemed like it would take me days to get to the other side and that everyone behind me would eventually fly by me. While I dealt with these thoughts for a few minutes I kept reminding myself that I am not here to beat anyone. I am here for myself. I started running for myself and I need to run this race for myself. Even if I do come in last.. I will have accomplished something I never have before. At this point the sun began to come down and I approached a crowd of volunteers with water, who were cheering for everyone as they passed and heard the man with the stop watch read off "32:12" for mile 2. I did the math in my head and realized that as much as I would have loved to finish in 45 minutes, there was just no way I was going to run another 1.1 miles in 13 minutes or less. At that point, I was simply focused on finishing. During this race after finishing each mile, I envisioned my runs near my house and that helped me concentrate on how much running I really had left to do. I would speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down, but never stopped running - not even once. It was during this race though that I realized how much credit walkers do not get. There were walkers passing me, going faster than I could run. This was inspiring. It just goes to show that as individuals we have to choose what works for us and if walking works for them, they should continue to go on with their bad selves. I using MapMyRun to track my distance and I checked that I was right around 2.75, I knew it was time to kick it in to high gear. I wasn't even sure where the race ended, but I needed to finish with my head held high. I saw my family in near sight, but it was dark and there were a lot of trees. I saw the screen that read in bold red "48 something" I let out a sigh of relief and ran at a speed I didn't even know I could reach. I heard a stranger scream "finish strong!" and with my family and Cameron around me.. I finished my first 5k.