Friday, February 10, 2012

Taking it one step at a time.

You shouldn't be surprised that I just finished my 4th week of the semester and this is my first post since it started.

Wow.

That's the one way to describe the events as of late.

I didn't really expect things to be THIS crazy, but really they have been. Let me explain what I've been up to:

School
This semester is quite anticlimactic for me. Even though I signed up for the classes 2 months ago and knew what I was getting into, it still surprised me that in my final semester at Parkside I'm in 3 intro level courses and a senior seminar. As much as I'm bummed that I'm spending my last term with a lot of students that haven't even declared their major yet, I remind myself almost daily how it is the smartest decision I could have made. So yeah, last semester sucked and this semester isn't very exciting, but with everything else that's going on it is exactly the way it needs to be!

Work
I don't really talk much about my work on here, so I guess I'll back track a bit. Back in May 2010, I started an internship with my advisor working on the evaluation portion of the CAN (Capacity Building Assistance for Non-Profits) grant. This was a 3 year grant (08-10) for non-profits in Kenosha and Racine county to, as the grant says, build their capacity. Oh and it was a 1.5 million dollar grant at that. The plan was I would work about 30 hours a week from May-September running reports, doing a bit of writing and basically assisting my advisor in whatever information she needed for the final report. Well that wasn't exactly... how it worked out..

The reality of the situation is... I was suppose to be there for 4 months, but I am still employed there. The work I was doing that summer was at a little place called the Center for Community Partnerships. The work that was done with the CAN grant was apart of the Non-Profit Development division of the CCP.  Well there is another section of NPD called Community Based Learning that focuses on connecting the university with community partners. When I came on as an intern, there were 2 student workers for CBL, by the end of the summer there was only 1 and I took over the other spot... and I haven't left since.

This job has really been a huge blessing to my life. I've witnessed so much change, transition, frustration, chaos, but at the heart of it all I've found what it means to work with individuals who are really passionate about helping the community it is we live in. It has opened my eyes to the goodness there is, just right in our backyards and while my time there is up in May - I'm thankful to have spent majority of my time working at the CCP.

Along with all that mushy stuff, I've been working over 20 hours a week which is so much more than I normally do during the semester so it has been cray-ZEE.

Fitness
My wonderful co-worker/friend Lauren and I have been doing this intense class at the Y called Flex and Crunch. I haven't pushed myself as hard as that class continues to push me every Tuesday and Thursday. It has been great to have a work out partner that motivates me every week to be better and do better!

Along with that, I have committed to a running schedule (thanks for helping me, Gina) and I'm hoping to run my first 10k in August/September.

Overall, it has just made me so much happier to be active and setting and achieving goals.

Wedding
Okay, holy smokes. The wedding is officially 152 days away. The Save the Dates have been sent out, I'm getting measured for my dress in less than 2 weeks and the bridal shower planning is in the works. Cameron and I are just focusing on taking care of the important things and staying ahead of the game which I think we've done a great job at. It helps that we are both very matter of fact type of people, when we've looked for certain things, found something we loved, we made the decision, done and done. I get more and more excited as we get closer to the day :)

Aside from all the updates, there was a specific reason I wanted to post today.
Lately, Cameron and I have felt a strong wave of negativity from those around us. I don't know the cause of it, but it seems like every conversation we have with individuals (married or not) they make marriage seem like the worst possible idea. We're either too young, don't have enough money, are rushing into it, etc. Here's what I have to say about the whole thing:
No one, not even those closest to us, know the extent of work that Cameron and I have put into our relationship over the past few years. There have been issues of my past and Cameron's that we've worked through. These issues and this baggage we hold doesn't go away over night and has forced us to be adults and tackle the confrontation that presents itself right in the heart of our relationship. What it really comes down to is we, like all other dating, engaged, and married couples, were raised in different types of households, with different experiences and different values. We definitely don't have our entire life planned out. We do know that we are both overjoyed to be so close to marriage and excited, optimistic, scared, hopeful [insert any other adjective] for what the future holds. It is very apparent that some people will never understand the reasons why we are getting married and that's fine. Our goal through these months and the rest of our lives is to keep God at the center of our relationship and so strongly that we don't ever feel the need to justify ourselves to any person again. I will say as far as the human aspect goes, if anyone feels so inclined to share their opinions on how we should be doing things - they should pray for us. Pray that God leads us in the direction we need to be headed, that God watches over us and that if we're making all the wrong decisions He can bring us enough peace to get through it.

Which brings me to my final words for this post, I will never be able to fulfill and satisfy the million expectations the people in my life or society places on me, but I will continue to look to God to remind me how little it means to impress others if I'm not living for Him.

-B

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