You shouldn't be surprised that I just finished my 4th week of the semester and this is my first post since it started.
Wow.
That's the one way to describe the events as of late.
I didn't really expect things to be THIS crazy, but really they have been. Let me explain what I've been up to:
School
This semester is quite anticlimactic for me. Even though I signed up for the classes 2 months ago and knew what I was getting into, it still surprised me that in my final semester at Parkside I'm in 3 intro level courses and a senior seminar. As much as I'm bummed that I'm spending my last term with a lot of students that haven't even declared their major yet, I remind myself almost daily how it is the smartest decision I could have made. So yeah, last semester sucked and this semester isn't very exciting, but with everything else that's going on it is exactly the way it needs to be!
Work
I don't really talk much about my work on here, so I guess I'll back track a bit. Back in May 2010, I started an internship with my advisor working on the evaluation portion of the CAN (Capacity Building Assistance for Non-Profits) grant. This was a 3 year grant (08-10) for non-profits in Kenosha and Racine county to, as the grant says, build their capacity. Oh and it was a 1.5 million dollar grant at that. The plan was I would work about 30 hours a week from May-September running reports, doing a bit of writing and basically assisting my advisor in whatever information she needed for the final report. Well that wasn't exactly... how it worked out..
The reality of the situation is... I was suppose to be there for 4 months, but I am still employed there. The work I was doing that summer was at a little place called the Center for Community Partnerships. The work that was done with the CAN grant was apart of the Non-Profit Development division of the CCP. Well there is another section of NPD called Community Based Learning that focuses on connecting the university with community partners. When I came on as an intern, there were 2 student workers for CBL, by the end of the summer there was only 1 and I took over the other spot... and I haven't left since.
This job has really been a huge blessing to my life. I've witnessed so much change, transition, frustration, chaos, but at the heart of it all I've found what it means to work with individuals who are really passionate about helping the community it is we live in. It has opened my eyes to the goodness there is, just right in our backyards and while my time there is up in May - I'm thankful to have spent majority of my time working at the CCP.
Along with all that mushy stuff, I've been working over 20 hours a week which is so much more than I normally do during the semester so it has been cray-ZEE.
Fitness
My wonderful co-worker/friend Lauren and I have been doing this intense class at the Y called Flex and Crunch. I haven't pushed myself as hard as that class continues to push me every Tuesday and Thursday. It has been great to have a work out partner that motivates me every week to be better and do better!
Along with that, I have committed to a running schedule (thanks for helping me, Gina) and I'm hoping to run my first 10k in August/September.
Overall, it has just made me so much happier to be active and setting and achieving goals.
Wedding
Okay, holy smokes. The wedding is officially 152 days away. The Save the Dates have been sent out, I'm getting measured for my dress in less than 2 weeks and the bridal shower planning is in the works. Cameron and I are just focusing on taking care of the important things and staying ahead of the game which I think we've done a great job at. It helps that we are both very matter of fact type of people, when we've looked for certain things, found something we loved, we made the decision, done and done. I get more and more excited as we get closer to the day :)
Aside from all the updates, there was a specific reason I wanted to post today.
Lately, Cameron and I have felt a strong wave of negativity from those around us. I don't know the cause of it, but it seems like every conversation we have with individuals (married or not) they make marriage seem like the worst possible idea. We're either too young, don't have enough money, are rushing into it, etc. Here's what I have to say about the whole thing:
No one, not even those closest to us, know the extent of work that Cameron and I have put into our relationship over the past few years. There have been issues of my past and Cameron's that we've worked through. These issues and this baggage we hold doesn't go away over night and has forced us to be adults and tackle the confrontation that presents itself right in the heart of our relationship. What it really comes down to is we, like all other dating, engaged, and married couples, were raised in different types of households, with different experiences and different values. We definitely don't have our entire life planned out. We do know that we are both overjoyed to be so close to marriage and excited, optimistic, scared, hopeful [insert any other adjective] for what the future holds. It is very apparent that some people will never understand the reasons why we are getting married and that's fine. Our goal through these months and the rest of our lives is to keep God at the center of our relationship and so strongly that we don't ever feel the need to justify ourselves to any person again. I will say as far as the human aspect goes, if anyone feels so inclined to share their opinions on how we should be doing things - they should pray for us. Pray that God leads us in the direction we need to be headed, that God watches over us and that if we're making all the wrong decisions He can bring us enough peace to get through it.
Which brings me to my final words for this post, I will never be able to fulfill and satisfy the million expectations the people in my life or society places on me, but I will continue to look to God to remind me how little it means to impress others if I'm not living for Him.
-B
Friday, February 10, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
The importance of investing in my marriage before the wedding.
Let me start by saying, we are less than 6 months away from the wedding. I am 105 emotions deep and knowing that the wedding is so close is as exciting as it is terrifying. It was almost as if the day we got engaged, time suddenly went into overdrive and here we are now in our wedding year.
I'm very blessed to have great women who have ministered to me during my engagement. I've been spending a lot of time with one of these women recently. She's very important to me, among many reasons, because since day 1 she has understood and accepted me for my past and all that has come with it. She knows more about me than most people do and the relationship I have with her is one I really cherish. She's a wife and a mom and a great friend to me. She shares all of the advice and guidance she can about marriage with me and recently she told me something along the lines of "after the wedding.. you'll just be another couple.. after you have kids.. you'll just be another set of parents and eventually just another family". This is so true. Here I am in the heart of one of the most eventful times of my life and in the snap of a finger the spotlight will redirect to the next engaged couple and we will just be, married.
What is most interesting is that as an engaged couple it is so easy to get caught up in what we're going to do for the day of, what's the dress going to look like, real or fake flowers, DJ or band, any little people in the wedding? and the list goes on, but Cameron and I have tried our hardest not to be naive about what's really ahead. Because after the I Dos, the first dance and the honeymoon, we will be smack dab into our first year of marriage. July 14th will absolutely be a day that we will remember, but it is only one day of the rest of our lives.
Let's face it, anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that it's hard. I've talked about it before that there have been stages of our relationship where I didn't think we'd make it, but we did. These hardships don't disappear once the rings are on both fingers. I know marriage will be hard. The odds are stacked against us, we come from families with a lot of divorces and heartache. The most clarity that has been brought to us is our ability to recognize this at our age and stage of our lives together. God has been so good to us in helping us have these hard conversations that neither of us really want to have.
This is why having mentors and pre-marriage counseling has really been the most important part of this whole planning process. It helps when others notice this. Just the other day a friend told me, "most of the time I'm so against couples our age getting married, but not with you - you're being so smart about this". It's uplifting to know that while we will never plan as much as we want to we are truly investing time into making our marriage successful before the wedding. So yes, eventually we will just be another married couple, but I hope that someday we can be the ones ministering to others the same way our mentors have invested in us.
I'm very blessed to have great women who have ministered to me during my engagement. I've been spending a lot of time with one of these women recently. She's very important to me, among many reasons, because since day 1 she has understood and accepted me for my past and all that has come with it. She knows more about me than most people do and the relationship I have with her is one I really cherish. She's a wife and a mom and a great friend to me. She shares all of the advice and guidance she can about marriage with me and recently she told me something along the lines of "after the wedding.. you'll just be another couple.. after you have kids.. you'll just be another set of parents and eventually just another family". This is so true. Here I am in the heart of one of the most eventful times of my life and in the snap of a finger the spotlight will redirect to the next engaged couple and we will just be, married.
What is most interesting is that as an engaged couple it is so easy to get caught up in what we're going to do for the day of, what's the dress going to look like, real or fake flowers, DJ or band, any little people in the wedding? and the list goes on, but Cameron and I have tried our hardest not to be naive about what's really ahead. Because after the I Dos, the first dance and the honeymoon, we will be smack dab into our first year of marriage. July 14th will absolutely be a day that we will remember, but it is only one day of the rest of our lives.
Let's face it, anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that it's hard. I've talked about it before that there have been stages of our relationship where I didn't think we'd make it, but we did. These hardships don't disappear once the rings are on both fingers. I know marriage will be hard. The odds are stacked against us, we come from families with a lot of divorces and heartache. The most clarity that has been brought to us is our ability to recognize this at our age and stage of our lives together. God has been so good to us in helping us have these hard conversations that neither of us really want to have.
This is why having mentors and pre-marriage counseling has really been the most important part of this whole planning process. It helps when others notice this. Just the other day a friend told me, "most of the time I'm so against couples our age getting married, but not with you - you're being so smart about this". It's uplifting to know that while we will never plan as much as we want to we are truly investing time into making our marriage successful before the wedding. So yes, eventually we will just be another married couple, but I hope that someday we can be the ones ministering to others the same way our mentors have invested in us.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Gratitude.
One more thing..
We had a great service today at church on gratitude. This series is called "margin" and I thought this was a great topic to start the new year with. I want to share some of the notes from today's outline:
Gratitude...
helps us maintain the proper perspective
sustains joy in our life
allows people to find a blessing, enlarge a blessing or create one in almost any situation.
and..
Gratitude begins where our sense of entitlement ends
This is all so true. I think of all the times I began to just expect that things should go one way or that I have a right to something. There are a number of times I haven't given proper praise to those who deserve it - this is another thing I'm hoping to be more conscious of this year.
Also, this is a video I came across just a week ago that I think describes the times we live in and gratitude perfectly --
We had a great service today at church on gratitude. This series is called "margin" and I thought this was a great topic to start the new year with. I want to share some of the notes from today's outline:
Gratitude...
helps us maintain the proper perspective
sustains joy in our life
allows people to find a blessing, enlarge a blessing or create one in almost any situation.
and..
Gratitude begins where our sense of entitlement ends
This is all so true. I think of all the times I began to just expect that things should go one way or that I have a right to something. There are a number of times I haven't given proper praise to those who deserve it - this is another thing I'm hoping to be more conscious of this year.
Also, this is a video I came across just a week ago that I think describes the times we live in and gratitude perfectly --
Looking forward, looking back.
So, it's 2012. Um.. what?
I unfortunately started this year with a cold that I've had for the last few days. I was in bed early last night and while it wasn't that thrilling of a night - I'm looking forward to this year. Before I dive into this year, I want to reflect on this year's high and low lights.
Back in February, I broke my ankle. What a way to start the year, huh? It was the first time I've dealt with a serious injury. It took 2 surgeries and a lot of therapy to get me back to normal, but all in all it could have been a lot worse.
On May 6th, Cameron and I got engaged! That was such a great day and the whole reason this blog came to be.
I'm the type of person that believes everything happens for a distinct purpose. If I had never broken my ankle, I wouldn't of had the motivation I did to start running. In July, I started the couch to 5k program and in September I ran my first 5k and in October my second. I was lucky enough to run my second with my friend, Drew.
I unfortunately started this year with a cold that I've had for the last few days. I was in bed early last night and while it wasn't that thrilling of a night - I'm looking forward to this year. Before I dive into this year, I want to reflect on this year's high and low lights.
Back in February, I broke my ankle. What a way to start the year, huh? It was the first time I've dealt with a serious injury. It took 2 surgeries and a lot of therapy to get me back to normal, but all in all it could have been a lot worse.
On May 6th, Cameron and I got engaged! That was such a great day and the whole reason this blog came to be.
I'm the type of person that believes everything happens for a distinct purpose. If I had never broken my ankle, I wouldn't of had the motivation I did to start running. In July, I started the couch to 5k program and in September I ran my first 5k and in October my second. I was lucky enough to run my second with my friend, Drew.
Yes, I wore the same shirt for both :)
About a month after running my 5ks, I was going through some serious hip pain which brought me to the chiropractor where I found out about some issues I'm having with my back. I'm happy to say that I'm doing so much better today. While there have been days of struggle, I had planned on getting back to running in January and look forward to starting again.
Which brings us to now.. January 1st.
There's a lot in store this year for me individually and for Cameron and I.
Let's start with running.
Since I haven't done any serious running in a couple of months, I plan on starting out slow this month. I need to build myself up at a pace that I know I can handle and that won't worsen or bring back the back pain. Cameron and I plan on running a 5k together at the end of February, early March. From there, we will be running a 10k, 15k and the ultimate goal is still a half marathon. While my previous goal was to run the half at the Wisconsin marathon in May, it depends on how these next few months go. I want to be realistic about this. By this time next year, my goal and our goal is to run a half marathon.
I graduate on May 12th! This semester I have a light load, 13 credits, with a lot of great professors I've already had or know. Should be a great end to my undergraduate career.
The next one we have been building the foundation for since the summer, but are really taking it seriously starting this year. I mentioned in previous posts that Cameron and I were apart of a growth group called Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey. First, I want to say if you are ever given an opportunity to take this course - take it. You will not regret it. It's a realistic look at how to handle your money and how you get yourself out of debt. When it comes down to it, Cameron and I collectively have a lot of student loan debt going into our marriage. We are fortunate to not have that much credit card debt (no thank you, gap card with a 24% interest rate) but what it comes down to is that we need to get ourselves out of the hole we are in. Yes, a college education is worth the money, but looking back on it I should have applied for scholarships and thought harder about where I would be 4 years later in 2008. Using Dave Ramsey's total money makeover plan, we will be on a budget for the first time starting this month. Every penny will have a place to go, before it is spent. It's widely known that finances can rip a marriage apart and it has taken Cameron and I a long time to get to where we are today, but I am so happy we are taking this step forward. Most importantly that we are doing it together.
Last, but not least, weight loss. This Christmas I got a juicier for Christmas (thanks mom) and I will tell you why. A few months back, I watched an amazing documentary called Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead. It is on an Australian man, dealing with a serious condition that causes him to experience a pain like a mosquito bite at random times all over his body. He had become frustrated with all of the meds he was on, the different explanations he was getting from doctors and knew he had to take hold of his life. He juiced for 60 days, his diet included fruits, veggies and nuts (for protein). In that time he lost nearly 100 pounds and after a short period of eating raw fruit and veggies following the 60 days, he was off his meds completely. This is inspiring. It makes you take a hard look at the toll you put on your body year after year with processed food. I invite all of you watch it and check the website. I want to incorporate juicing into my diet heavily this year. While I don't think I could ever do a 60 day fast, my goal is a 7 day one this month. I've been doing my research and just need to make sure I have all my bases covered. I juiced this morning for breakfast (2 pears, 2 apples) and it is delicious. I see the 2 biggest barriers being juicing vegetables and not eating solid food. More on that later!
2011 was just a stepping stone into my life that will change drastically this year. 2012 will be an incredible year.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
To Cameron.
Dear Cameron,
In honor of today, our 6 year anniversary, I wanted to praise you for the man that you are. I didn't think that 6 years ago, when you asked me out I would be saying yes to my later fiance and now future husband. What I have known, and for a while, is that you are unlike anyone that I have ever met. You can be the most stubborn person on this planet, but also the most sensitive and loving too. Things aren't the way they were 6 years ago. We were in the heart of our teenage years when we first got to know each other and today, as adults, we continue to grow each day. We still have a long way to go, which I do not fear, but look forward to. Every now and then, people will ask me how we've managed to stay together this long. My answer once was, "we're really open with each other, are always in communication and are honest with one another" and other things of that nature. Today, my answer is God has kept us together. I think back to lowest stage of our relationship, the decision was finally made that we would start going to church together and everything changed. We began to connect on a level that I didn't know we could. Our conversations were more mature, more realistic and for one of the very first times I felt like we had finally decided that the focus of our life would be centered around something bigger than ourselves. I knew in that stage of our life, we would get married. When we took that turning point, I met a whole new person. It was then I realized, you were the man of God you always wanted to be, but that I didn't even know that I needed. When I broke my ankle in February, you showed me just how protective you are of me. I knew then you would do anything in your power to make sure I was taken care of. I know that 6 years is a long time, but looking back on the early years of our relationship - we were really just going through the motions, not knowing that something bigger and better was on its way. You have filled a void in my heart and you have brought me so much happiness.
On April 26, 2006 in an old blog, I wrote this -
"i can seriously not believe that saturday is already cameron and i's 4 month anniversery.. i never thought i'd have a relationship that would last this long, and its crazy to think that too because with him, it feels like we've been together forever, but its gone by so fast that i lose track i dunno its weird, but i love him. so much, seriously i've never felt this way about anyone before and even through everything, i can't picture myself with anyone else."
Those feelings that I experienced at 16, have not changed a bit. You are an incredible person, will be amazing husband and later in life an extraordinary father.
You have changed my life for the better. You have seen me at my worst, best and everywhere in between and still love me for who I am. You are perfect to me and I would never trade what we have for anything else in this world.
I love you today, tomorrow, and always.
In honor of today, our 6 year anniversary, I wanted to praise you for the man that you are. I didn't think that 6 years ago, when you asked me out I would be saying yes to my later fiance and now future husband. What I have known, and for a while, is that you are unlike anyone that I have ever met. You can be the most stubborn person on this planet, but also the most sensitive and loving too. Things aren't the way they were 6 years ago. We were in the heart of our teenage years when we first got to know each other and today, as adults, we continue to grow each day. We still have a long way to go, which I do not fear, but look forward to. Every now and then, people will ask me how we've managed to stay together this long. My answer once was, "we're really open with each other, are always in communication and are honest with one another" and other things of that nature. Today, my answer is God has kept us together. I think back to lowest stage of our relationship, the decision was finally made that we would start going to church together and everything changed. We began to connect on a level that I didn't know we could. Our conversations were more mature, more realistic and for one of the very first times I felt like we had finally decided that the focus of our life would be centered around something bigger than ourselves. I knew in that stage of our life, we would get married. When we took that turning point, I met a whole new person. It was then I realized, you were the man of God you always wanted to be, but that I didn't even know that I needed. When I broke my ankle in February, you showed me just how protective you are of me. I knew then you would do anything in your power to make sure I was taken care of. I know that 6 years is a long time, but looking back on the early years of our relationship - we were really just going through the motions, not knowing that something bigger and better was on its way. You have filled a void in my heart and you have brought me so much happiness.
On April 26, 2006 in an old blog, I wrote this -
"i can seriously not believe that saturday is already cameron and i's 4 month anniversery.. i never thought i'd have a relationship that would last this long, and its crazy to think that too because with him, it feels like we've been together forever, but its gone by so fast that i lose track i dunno its weird, but i love him. so much, seriously i've never felt this way about anyone before and even through everything, i can't picture myself with anyone else."
Those feelings that I experienced at 16, have not changed a bit. You are an incredible person, will be amazing husband and later in life an extraordinary father.
You have changed my life for the better. You have seen me at my worst, best and everywhere in between and still love me for who I am. You are perfect to me and I would never trade what we have for anything else in this world.
I love you today, tomorrow, and always.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Dear 21 Year Old Me.
Before I start this post I need to give credit where credit is due. I stole this idea from Katie, whose blog you need to read immediately. There are many different ways to structure these letters, but I'm going to structure mine like she did hers.
Back in the 8th grade, we were given an assignment similar to this. We were told to write letters to ourselves and they were mailed to us within the year after we graduated high school. I received mine and was quite disappointed. I specifically remember that I did quickly write the letter because I was taking care of other things during class time. The letter was generic and didn't explain my emotional state whatsoever. I will try harder this time to really explain how I'm feeling right now. We were even given the opportunity to write letters to others that we were leaving 8th grade with. I don't remember who I wrote one too, if any, but I only got 1 sent to me from Amy Tripp. So thanks for thinking of me, Amy.
So.. without further a due:
Dear 21 Year Old Me,
You are, of course, writing this at 11:54 the night before your last final of the semester rather than studying. I imagine that unless you were forced into it, you still find ways around taking care of anything than the most important task at hand. You're writing this in an anxious mood because you're less than 24 hours away from starting winter break and walking away from the worst semester you've had in college. You've thought for the last week about what you would say in this letter and decided that you will go ahead and make a list of things you will regret and things you will not regret. So here goes:
Things you will regret:
You will regret not living up to your full potential in school. This is not an easy pill for you to swallow right now, but at this very moment you are kicking yourself for not spending as much time studying as you should have.
You will regret worrying about so many people that I can guarantee will not be apart of your life by the time this letter reaches you. In fact, you will most likely sit around pondering about who exactly you were talking about when you were writing this. Cameron won't know either, so good luck figuring it out.
You will regret passing judgment on others before giving them a chance.
You will regret being an extremist. For real girl, cut the drama.
You will regret not making more of an effort to have a relationship with your dad. You will regret the time you spent angry at him. You will regret the time that was lost with your other family because of your bitterness and resentment. You will someday realize that the past is the past.
You will regret talking about so many people behind their back.
You will regret letting others walk all over you.
You will regret not giving those who really care about you, more of your attention. You're (you will regret that you originally wrote "your" and had to go back and edit it) young and can still be naive about things, but you know that you took others for granted a lot.
You will regret not appreciating your mom more in present time. You will regret hurting her feelings.
Overall, you will regret putting more emphasis on things that didn't matter and less time on things that do.
Things you will not regret:
You will absolutely not regret transferring to Parkside after your first year of college and moving back home. This was the best personal move you could have made and it taught you a lot about yourself.
You will never regret not dating anyone else prior to marrying Cameron. You will never regret anything about Cameron, period.
You will never regret or forget the first time you decided to give Great Lakes Church a chance. This church has changed your life. Wherever your spiritual journey takes you from here, without this church you may have never found God. You will also not regret being upfront and honest about your religion at a young age. You've found peace and hope that no other group could ever offer you.
While you will regret not trying harder in school, you will not regret finishing your bachelor's degree in 4 years. Even though when you entered college you thought it was just the norm to finish college in that time span, you will quickly realize how fortunate you were to be able to graduate on time without life getting in the way.
I need to bold this because it's important: you will never, in your life, regret not being apart of the party scene. When you read this again years from now, you will not be bummin' about the fact that you missed so many parties when you were in your late teens and early twenties. It won't happen, older you and current you know that.
You will not regret the times, even at 21 and younger, you didn't give into others and walked away from bad situations. You learned from this.
You will not regret being you. You will not regret being mature and spending time with older people. You will not regret investing time in yourself and putting yourself first when it mattered most.
--
That felt good! I don't know how I'll get this letter back to myself later on, but I'll figure it out.
-B
Back in the 8th grade, we were given an assignment similar to this. We were told to write letters to ourselves and they were mailed to us within the year after we graduated high school. I received mine and was quite disappointed. I specifically remember that I did quickly write the letter because I was taking care of other things during class time. The letter was generic and didn't explain my emotional state whatsoever. I will try harder this time to really explain how I'm feeling right now. We were even given the opportunity to write letters to others that we were leaving 8th grade with. I don't remember who I wrote one too, if any, but I only got 1 sent to me from Amy Tripp. So thanks for thinking of me, Amy.
So.. without further a due:
Dear 21 Year Old Me,
You are, of course, writing this at 11:54 the night before your last final of the semester rather than studying. I imagine that unless you were forced into it, you still find ways around taking care of anything than the most important task at hand. You're writing this in an anxious mood because you're less than 24 hours away from starting winter break and walking away from the worst semester you've had in college. You've thought for the last week about what you would say in this letter and decided that you will go ahead and make a list of things you will regret and things you will not regret. So here goes:
Things you will regret:
You will regret not living up to your full potential in school. This is not an easy pill for you to swallow right now, but at this very moment you are kicking yourself for not spending as much time studying as you should have.
You will regret worrying about so many people that I can guarantee will not be apart of your life by the time this letter reaches you. In fact, you will most likely sit around pondering about who exactly you were talking about when you were writing this. Cameron won't know either, so good luck figuring it out.
You will regret passing judgment on others before giving them a chance.
You will regret being an extremist. For real girl, cut the drama.
You will regret not making more of an effort to have a relationship with your dad. You will regret the time you spent angry at him. You will regret the time that was lost with your other family because of your bitterness and resentment. You will someday realize that the past is the past.
You will regret talking about so many people behind their back.
You will regret letting others walk all over you.
You will regret not giving those who really care about you, more of your attention. You're (you will regret that you originally wrote "your" and had to go back and edit it) young and can still be naive about things, but you know that you took others for granted a lot.
You will regret not appreciating your mom more in present time. You will regret hurting her feelings.
Overall, you will regret putting more emphasis on things that didn't matter and less time on things that do.
Things you will not regret:
You will absolutely not regret transferring to Parkside after your first year of college and moving back home. This was the best personal move you could have made and it taught you a lot about yourself.
You will never regret not dating anyone else prior to marrying Cameron. You will never regret anything about Cameron, period.
You will never regret or forget the first time you decided to give Great Lakes Church a chance. This church has changed your life. Wherever your spiritual journey takes you from here, without this church you may have never found God. You will also not regret being upfront and honest about your religion at a young age. You've found peace and hope that no other group could ever offer you.
While you will regret not trying harder in school, you will not regret finishing your bachelor's degree in 4 years. Even though when you entered college you thought it was just the norm to finish college in that time span, you will quickly realize how fortunate you were to be able to graduate on time without life getting in the way.
I need to bold this because it's important: you will never, in your life, regret not being apart of the party scene. When you read this again years from now, you will not be bummin' about the fact that you missed so many parties when you were in your late teens and early twenties. It won't happen, older you and current you know that.
You will not regret the times, even at 21 and younger, you didn't give into others and walked away from bad situations. You learned from this.
You will not regret being you. You will not regret being mature and spending time with older people. You will not regret investing time in yourself and putting yourself first when it mattered most.
--
That felt good! I don't know how I'll get this letter back to myself later on, but I'll figure it out.
-B
Monday, December 12, 2011
Switch of focus.
In a little over a week, I will be 1 semester away from finishing my Bachelor's Degree. This is exciting and terrifying at the same time. My college experience wasn't very ordinary. It was during my time in college that 2 people I went to highschool with and a close family friend passed away. This was my first real experience with death (aside from my aunt passing away in 2008). It's a lot different when someone you're close in age with passes away vs. a family member, even though she passed away before her 50th birthday. I've learned a lot from these deaths and faster than I expected to. While I want to remember college as being the greatest years of my life, the memories of these deaths will always be attached. Today, I was told that a friend of mine recently found out her mom has breast cancer. This was a hard pill to swallow. Since we grew up together, I feel it's something that could have easily happened to me. It's a difficult situation because this isn't just someone I went to school with or passed by in the hallways, she has always been a close friend to me and always will be. When I found this out, I was in the middle of one of my own personal fits, angry about something small and in an instant it was as if God personally delivered me a reality check. He's good at this. The minute I think I have problems I am immediately reminded that it could.always.be.worse. The truth of the matter is, for every time I've started a sentence with I'm thankful for this, but __________ - I need to retract my sentence with I am thankful regardless of this. The fact of the matter is God has taught me that life will always be more about who I spend my precious time with rather than who I choose to use my time complaining about. I am here to say, the lesson has come through loud and clear. I'm guilty of this every single day. Instead of saying that my new's year resolution will be to fix this - it will start today. I need to put greater focus on the people that mean something to me and less focus on things that I will never have the power to change. It's all about perspective and mine changes.. now.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Where we are and where we're going.
Hello all!
This blog has not seen much action recently. I was on Facebook hiatus so the posts I was writing, weren't being seen by many (not that I wrote much). We have entered our most busy time of the year.. the holidays. We just finished Thanksgiving, Cameron's birthday is Wednesday, Christmas is in less than a month along with my birthday and our 6 YEAR anniversary is December 29th. This time is pure chaos with finals of course added in the mix. I love this time of year, but hate that is it always so hectic.
Cameron just completed his first race! He did the Turkey Day Run with his dad and I proudly supported him. They did 2 miles near Lake Michigan and finished somewhere around 34 minutes. The time wasn't as important as the milestone he has hit by doing his first race.
The reason I didn't run is because I found out some important stuff since my last 5k. I took a short break from running and once I started again, proceeding every run I would have pretty bad hip pain for days at a time. The most I could run was about 3 times a week because of the pain. It wasn't making much sense so I decided to go to a chiropractor. They did x-rays and basically found out that I have a pinched nerve and my hips are extremely uneven. Due to this, everytime I run it's like I'm naturally running uphill. This makes a lot of sense because I couldn't get beyond a certain time when I would run, no matter how much training I did. For the last few weeks, I've been getting alignments that have been helping a lot. The next step will be to put a lift in my shoe and I'm hoping to be running by January. The next race I do will most definitely be with Cameron.
We have 3 weeks and finals left for this semester to go. This has been one of my more difficult semesters. I've definitely had a case of senioritis and fall semester is just always more challenging for me than spring. There's just something about it. In my last semester, I will be taking 13 credits, no Friday classes and I'm hoping to work a lot more. This spring my real devotion is to wedding planning. I've had it planned this way for a while and although this semester hasn't been the greatest I'll be really thankful that I took care of what I did now and not later.
A lot of people have asked me since we got engaged where we're planning living and at this point in time we're planning on staying in this area. The farthest we'd probably go is Oak Creek. Cameron will actually be in school for an additional year and I'm hoping to find a job, if not in Kenosha, in Milwaukee. If we moved to Oak Creek we wouldn't be far from his job.. which speaking of, he just got hired as a manager at Esprit! The store is out at the Prime Outlets.. it's good money and a good amount of hours. I'm really happy for him.
I believe that's it for now. Hope everyone has a blessed and safe holiday season! We love you.
-B
This blog has not seen much action recently. I was on Facebook hiatus so the posts I was writing, weren't being seen by many (not that I wrote much). We have entered our most busy time of the year.. the holidays. We just finished Thanksgiving, Cameron's birthday is Wednesday, Christmas is in less than a month along with my birthday and our 6 YEAR anniversary is December 29th. This time is pure chaos with finals of course added in the mix. I love this time of year, but hate that is it always so hectic.
Cameron just completed his first race! He did the Turkey Day Run with his dad and I proudly supported him. They did 2 miles near Lake Michigan and finished somewhere around 34 minutes. The time wasn't as important as the milestone he has hit by doing his first race.
The reason I didn't run is because I found out some important stuff since my last 5k. I took a short break from running and once I started again, proceeding every run I would have pretty bad hip pain for days at a time. The most I could run was about 3 times a week because of the pain. It wasn't making much sense so I decided to go to a chiropractor. They did x-rays and basically found out that I have a pinched nerve and my hips are extremely uneven. Due to this, everytime I run it's like I'm naturally running uphill. This makes a lot of sense because I couldn't get beyond a certain time when I would run, no matter how much training I did. For the last few weeks, I've been getting alignments that have been helping a lot. The next step will be to put a lift in my shoe and I'm hoping to be running by January. The next race I do will most definitely be with Cameron.
We have 3 weeks and finals left for this semester to go. This has been one of my more difficult semesters. I've definitely had a case of senioritis and fall semester is just always more challenging for me than spring. There's just something about it. In my last semester, I will be taking 13 credits, no Friday classes and I'm hoping to work a lot more. This spring my real devotion is to wedding planning. I've had it planned this way for a while and although this semester hasn't been the greatest I'll be really thankful that I took care of what I did now and not later.
A lot of people have asked me since we got engaged where we're planning living and at this point in time we're planning on staying in this area. The farthest we'd probably go is Oak Creek. Cameron will actually be in school for an additional year and I'm hoping to find a job, if not in Kenosha, in Milwaukee. If we moved to Oak Creek we wouldn't be far from his job.. which speaking of, he just got hired as a manager at Esprit! The store is out at the Prime Outlets.. it's good money and a good amount of hours. I'm really happy for him.
I believe that's it for now. Hope everyone has a blessed and safe holiday season! We love you.
-B
Monday, November 14, 2011
Thankful.
With Thanksgiving around the corner, I thought it would be appropriate to write a post about what I'm thankful for. I was sitting here thinking about all the things I have to do, how I wish things could be and the like.. when I stopped to reflect on the good in my life.
First and foremost:
I have an incredible God. A forgiving, forever loving God. At the start of everyday and the end of every night, I live for a God that has taken me from a dark place that I was to where I am today. This is both refreshing and comforting.
I will be marrying the most wonderful human being just 8 short months from today!
With all the physical pain I went through this year, I have successfully completed TWO 5ks this fall. This is astounding for someone who has a) never been a runner and b) who is my size.
I am able to take a hot shower every morning and go to sleep in a warm house every night. The little things that we can take for granted each and every day are really huge blessings. .
I am 6 months away from completing my Bachelor's Degree in Psychology.
Each and everyday, there are individuals praying for me, loving me and supporting me regardless of my past and my failures.
And the list goes on.
I live a proud life and am one blessed individual.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
22 by 22!
Well hello long awaited update!
There's a lot I have to say in this post so let me start with the title..
22 by 22.
After my second 5k (details below), I almost completely fell off the bandwagon. I stopped running for several weeks, spent a lot of time doing nothing and just had a few rough weeks emotionally. Midway through this week, I gained back some energy and got my priorities in line. I know that unless I set goals, my motivation will stay at an all time low and I'll be caught in a loop forever. My new weight loss goal is to lose 22 pounds by my 22nd birthday. Fitness wise, I want to aim for the gym 4-5 days a week and eating wise I'm really trying to watch my portions. I want my life back. I don't want to be caught in a stand still for the rest of the my days and I know that the longer I wait to take care of myself, the harder it will get.
My second 5k!
It was held at Veteran's Park in Milwaukee. This time, I didn't go into the race alone. My good friend, Drew, joined me and we started the race together. This race did not bring me as much anxiety and nervousness as my first one, as to be expected, but there was one huge difference between the two: the temperature. My first 5k was a cool September night, this one was a hot October morning. It didn't take me long, maybe a half mile or so, to notice this difference. I was hot and knew that it was only going to get worse. While I ran majority of the race alone and wasn't exactly sure of the course we were taking.... after mile 2 I saw a sea of people again. There were many times during this 5k that I wanted to stop and walk (I didn't have many of these thoughts in the first 5k) and I know it was because I didn't prepare myself for how hot that day was going to be. I saw the end of the race and began to pick up the pace. About 2.25 miles in, there was a huge teaser as we had to pass the area right near the finish line and continue running until the turn around point. I saw my family there and it didn't give me the same confidence it did in the first race. I was ready to quit and almost as if she could read my mind, Drew appeared next to me, running with me, encouraging me and talking me through the last leg of the race. I'm positive that if she had not been there with me until the end, I would have given up. This was one of those moments where I undoubtedly knew that God was there, the entire time. This was a hard race, but in the end I had a better time (46:07) and stronger spirit. Thank you to my mom, Cameron, April, Shawn and Terri for coming out that day to support me.
Wedding updates :)
It's been a while since I wrote anything about wedding planning, but the most exciting news is that I have found my dress! It is beautiful. I can't wait for everyone to see it. We've also decided on the bridesmaid dresses so this another thing to look forward to.We've got a sample of invitation down and as every week passes, it's crazy to think how little time there is until the big day. Soon the planning will come to an end, the day will be here and I'll be married at 22. I've been with Cameron for almost 6 years and as I think of all the things him and I have gone through, the stages of our relationships, good and ugly.. I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else.
Sidenote: since Cameron and I got engaged, there have been so many people that start conversations with me like this "I could never get married so young" followed up by the infamous "but no offense to you". There is nothing that irritates me more. I don't believe that marriage has anything to do with age. There are several people years older than me that have admitted they aren't ready for marriage, but it's not because of their age, but the maturity of their relationship. If there is one thing I am most proud of the relationship Cameron and I have, it's the maturity. We aren't the typical 21 year old couple. We've known for a long time that we would be getting married, but that doesn't mean we were ready then. Every relationship is a process. There are couples that have been together just as long as we have and automatically assume because they've hit a certain amount of time together they should be getting married and in my opinion they have it completely backwards. Marriage shouldn't be added to the equation after "x" amount of years. Cameron and I never said, if we've been together for more than 5 years we just have to get married. We would have set our marriage up for failure. Since discussions have began about marriage and throughout our engagement, we grow every single day as a couple. We are not naive and living in some fantasy land that things are going to be perfect because we've been together for so long. While we know each other best, we are no where near where we will be in 6, 10 or 50 more years. Rant over.
The other half of this blog
When this blog was originally started, it was for wedding purposes. In a way it became my journey through my c25k experience and life change. I am the only one that updates so a lot of you don't know what's going on with Cameron unless it involves me too. Well here's some news, he got a new car! A white 2010 Toyota Yaris. He's been researching cars for the last month or so and decided on this one and bought it this past week (under my 1 condition that it had to be good on gas). While the car is small, it's definitely deceiving. There's plenty of room in it and he got the hatchback he's always wanted. The best part is it gets 40 miles on average to the gallon. I'm proud of the decision that he made and know this will be a great investment for our future :)
Thanksgiving!
This Thanksgiving, Cameron and I will be doing the Turkey Day run together! Yes, together. Back when I ran my first 5k, Cameron promised me he'd do this race with me. I'm glad he'll be sticking to this promise.
Thank you for the taking the time to read these posts, although I've been slacking. Thank you to everyone who is apart of our lives, helping us grow, praying for us, challenging us to be better people and making us who we are today.
We love you all.
-B
There's a lot I have to say in this post so let me start with the title..
22 by 22.
After my second 5k (details below), I almost completely fell off the bandwagon. I stopped running for several weeks, spent a lot of time doing nothing and just had a few rough weeks emotionally. Midway through this week, I gained back some energy and got my priorities in line. I know that unless I set goals, my motivation will stay at an all time low and I'll be caught in a loop forever. My new weight loss goal is to lose 22 pounds by my 22nd birthday. Fitness wise, I want to aim for the gym 4-5 days a week and eating wise I'm really trying to watch my portions. I want my life back. I don't want to be caught in a stand still for the rest of the my days and I know that the longer I wait to take care of myself, the harder it will get.
My second 5k!
It was held at Veteran's Park in Milwaukee. This time, I didn't go into the race alone. My good friend, Drew, joined me and we started the race together. This race did not bring me as much anxiety and nervousness as my first one, as to be expected, but there was one huge difference between the two: the temperature. My first 5k was a cool September night, this one was a hot October morning. It didn't take me long, maybe a half mile or so, to notice this difference. I was hot and knew that it was only going to get worse. While I ran majority of the race alone and wasn't exactly sure of the course we were taking.... after mile 2 I saw a sea of people again. There were many times during this 5k that I wanted to stop and walk (I didn't have many of these thoughts in the first 5k) and I know it was because I didn't prepare myself for how hot that day was going to be. I saw the end of the race and began to pick up the pace. About 2.25 miles in, there was a huge teaser as we had to pass the area right near the finish line and continue running until the turn around point. I saw my family there and it didn't give me the same confidence it did in the first race. I was ready to quit and almost as if she could read my mind, Drew appeared next to me, running with me, encouraging me and talking me through the last leg of the race. I'm positive that if she had not been there with me until the end, I would have given up. This was one of those moments where I undoubtedly knew that God was there, the entire time. This was a hard race, but in the end I had a better time (46:07) and stronger spirit. Thank you to my mom, Cameron, April, Shawn and Terri for coming out that day to support me.
Wedding updates :)
It's been a while since I wrote anything about wedding planning, but the most exciting news is that I have found my dress! It is beautiful. I can't wait for everyone to see it. We've also decided on the bridesmaid dresses so this another thing to look forward to.We've got a sample of invitation down and as every week passes, it's crazy to think how little time there is until the big day. Soon the planning will come to an end, the day will be here and I'll be married at 22. I've been with Cameron for almost 6 years and as I think of all the things him and I have gone through, the stages of our relationships, good and ugly.. I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else.
Sidenote: since Cameron and I got engaged, there have been so many people that start conversations with me like this "I could never get married so young" followed up by the infamous "but no offense to you". There is nothing that irritates me more. I don't believe that marriage has anything to do with age. There are several people years older than me that have admitted they aren't ready for marriage, but it's not because of their age, but the maturity of their relationship. If there is one thing I am most proud of the relationship Cameron and I have, it's the maturity. We aren't the typical 21 year old couple. We've known for a long time that we would be getting married, but that doesn't mean we were ready then. Every relationship is a process. There are couples that have been together just as long as we have and automatically assume because they've hit a certain amount of time together they should be getting married and in my opinion they have it completely backwards. Marriage shouldn't be added to the equation after "x" amount of years. Cameron and I never said, if we've been together for more than 5 years we just have to get married. We would have set our marriage up for failure. Since discussions have began about marriage and throughout our engagement, we grow every single day as a couple. We are not naive and living in some fantasy land that things are going to be perfect because we've been together for so long. While we know each other best, we are no where near where we will be in 6, 10 or 50 more years. Rant over.
The other half of this blog
When this blog was originally started, it was for wedding purposes. In a way it became my journey through my c25k experience and life change. I am the only one that updates so a lot of you don't know what's going on with Cameron unless it involves me too. Well here's some news, he got a new car! A white 2010 Toyota Yaris. He's been researching cars for the last month or so and decided on this one and bought it this past week (under my 1 condition that it had to be good on gas). While the car is small, it's definitely deceiving. There's plenty of room in it and he got the hatchback he's always wanted. The best part is it gets 40 miles on average to the gallon. I'm proud of the decision that he made and know this will be a great investment for our future :)
Thanksgiving!
This Thanksgiving, Cameron and I will be doing the Turkey Day run together! Yes, together. Back when I ran my first 5k, Cameron promised me he'd do this race with me. I'm glad he'll be sticking to this promise.
Thank you for the taking the time to read these posts, although I've been slacking. Thank you to everyone who is apart of our lives, helping us grow, praying for us, challenging us to be better people and making us who we are today.
We love you all.
-B
Thursday, September 29, 2011
5 reasons I run.
1. Becoming a runner is unlike anything else.
Now, take it from me... I've never in my life been a runner. I
2. The results show.
Before I lost a pound of weight, according to the scale, I was dropping inches after what seemed like 30 seconds on the treadmill. I read somewhere that for women, running is the best exercise for weight loss. For me, this is true. While it may not be true for everyone - I've found that if I'm consistent, everything starts fitting looser than it did the week before.
3. Best sleep ever.
The night of my 5k, I literally slept like a baby. For several years, I've had a hard time sleeping completely through the night. I usually wake up 2-3 times a night, but nights after I run - I get better sleep than could ever be offered from a pill, a drink or anything else.
4. Self-confidence is on the up.
I feel better about myself with every mile I run. There's something about being able to call myself a runner that gives me more self-worth. Not that I didn't feel like I had a purpose before I started running, but running has made my life so much better. Along with that, running has given me more confidence to try new things at the gym. Today, I tried the stair master for the first time. Who am I?
5. The ultimate stress reliever.
After a good run, my head is clearer and my problems don't seem so big anymore. I've always been big on stressing, but running takes the load off. When I run outside, I feel closer to nature. When I run anywhere, I always feel closer to God.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
"Where the hell is the finish line?"
These were my exact words I shouted to my mom when I was just seconds away from the end of the race.
I can't really say I was overwhelmed with joy right away. When I finished there was one guy telling me to turn around when I started walking out of the finish line and another one saying he needed my number off my shirt, I was more flustered than anything right away. We took some pictures and my mom, sister and aunt left and I waited around with Cameron for my final time. I was greeted by a friend who pointed me in the right direction. It was confirmed, 48:23. My original goal for this 5k was 45 minutes, but my practice 5k on Monday was 50 minutes and when I saw all the people that were at the race today - my main goal was to not come in last.
Let's back track here. I've had a really great month of running leading up to this. I was hitting milestones left and right and becoming much more comfortable with running outside since all of my training prior to September was on the track or treadmill. If I would have done anything differently it would have been training outside from the start and sticking to it. Not that the treadmill and track hindered me from anything because I felt it was nice to transition through the weeks of c25k trying out each, but running outside is honestly the most enjoyable for me personally. When I went from running 2 miles, to 2.5, to 2.75 I knew it was getting serious. There was no turning back.. I was going to do this 5k whether I wanted to or not. I HAD to do it.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
A recap of January- September and the direction I'm headed
Today marks the very last day of summer.
It's sad, but I'm looking forward to the last quarter of 2011. These last 9 months have been something else.
I would say the jump start was February when I broke my ankle. This was my first xray.
(Not exactly how my leg looks anymore because that faint white line across the bone, which can only be described as a very strong rubber band, was removed in June)
I was using a walker, laid up majority of the time and seriously unhappy.
March and April were mainly months of recovery. Yay, physical therapy!
May was when happier times began. On May 6, Cameron and I got engaged! It has been 4 months since that day which is so hard to believe.
June is when I officially started the couch to 5k program. While this is a 9 week program, it has taken me much longer to get through (still not done). The day I started it was the day before I found out I would have my second surgery the next day. The ironic part of this is that the day before I broke my ankle, I was playing basketball at the Y with my little brother and was looking forward to working out more.
It took me 2-3 weeks to recover from the second surgery but after that I got more involved with running. I started off really slow. I remember my first mile (run/walk) was like 19 and half minutes. Now, my mile is between 15:30-16:30. I would say the most brilliant part of the couch to 5k program is the change is so gradual that you don't even realize how much better you're getting until you start looking at the progress of each workout. For instance, the first workout is alternating between running for 1 minute and walking for a 1.5 minutes. Now I'm half way through the 6th week of the program and my next workout will be run continuously for 1 mile, walk for 1/4 mile and run another mile. I remember in my first few weeks thinking "there's no way I'm gonna be able to run 3 minutes straight.. or 5 minutes.. or 10 minutes.. or an entire mile". Everything's changing and I'm so proud of myself for the progress I've made.
The end of July our family went through a really hard loss. Our family friend Rob passed away unexpectedly leaving behind so many loved ones and so many unanswered questions. While there is no reasonable explanation for why he left us so soon - I know in my heart that God had laid out the plans of his life long before he was even born. Although that will never mend the hurt and sorrow, Rob is finally at peace.
At the beginning of this month, I started Weight Watchers again. Last year, I was doing WW and fell off for reasons that mean nothing anymore, but I'm happy that I'm back at it! Since I've done the program before I feel a lot more prepared. What I've learned about myself is that majority of my weight gain has stemmed from overeating and overindulging in sweets. I won't lie - I love sweets. Candy, cupcakes, soda.. you name it and I've probably ate it, a lot of it. It's going to take me some time to let go of this addiction, but I don't believe that it's impossible.
Tomorrow I start my senior year of college, hello 18 credits! Exactly 30 credits and 9 months stand between me and graduation. I am so ready.
My first 5k is 2 weeks away! I'm excited, nervous and a little anxious to get it out of the way. With the way this year started for me, I really just thought it'd be another year of unhappiness with myself and my body, but I'm finally on the up and excited to see the results.
My first weight loss goal is 30 pounds by December 31st. I will keep you all updated with my weigh ins at 1st and 15th of every month :)
In closing, I leave you with a video of Coco. She was an addition to the family for the last several months, but is now in North Carolina with my cousin Brad again.
It's sad, but I'm looking forward to the last quarter of 2011. These last 9 months have been something else.
I would say the jump start was February when I broke my ankle. This was my first xray.
I was using a walker, laid up majority of the time and seriously unhappy.
March and April were mainly months of recovery. Yay, physical therapy!
May was when happier times began. On May 6, Cameron and I got engaged! It has been 4 months since that day which is so hard to believe.
June is when I officially started the couch to 5k program. While this is a 9 week program, it has taken me much longer to get through (still not done). The day I started it was the day before I found out I would have my second surgery the next day. The ironic part of this is that the day before I broke my ankle, I was playing basketball at the Y with my little brother and was looking forward to working out more.
It took me 2-3 weeks to recover from the second surgery but after that I got more involved with running. I started off really slow. I remember my first mile (run/walk) was like 19 and half minutes. Now, my mile is between 15:30-16:30. I would say the most brilliant part of the couch to 5k program is the change is so gradual that you don't even realize how much better you're getting until you start looking at the progress of each workout. For instance, the first workout is alternating between running for 1 minute and walking for a 1.5 minutes. Now I'm half way through the 6th week of the program and my next workout will be run continuously for 1 mile, walk for 1/4 mile and run another mile. I remember in my first few weeks thinking "there's no way I'm gonna be able to run 3 minutes straight.. or 5 minutes.. or 10 minutes.. or an entire mile". Everything's changing and I'm so proud of myself for the progress I've made.
The end of July our family went through a really hard loss. Our family friend Rob passed away unexpectedly leaving behind so many loved ones and so many unanswered questions. While there is no reasonable explanation for why he left us so soon - I know in my heart that God had laid out the plans of his life long before he was even born. Although that will never mend the hurt and sorrow, Rob is finally at peace.
At the beginning of this month, I started Weight Watchers again. Last year, I was doing WW and fell off for reasons that mean nothing anymore, but I'm happy that I'm back at it! Since I've done the program before I feel a lot more prepared. What I've learned about myself is that majority of my weight gain has stemmed from overeating and overindulging in sweets. I won't lie - I love sweets. Candy, cupcakes, soda.. you name it and I've probably ate it, a lot of it. It's going to take me some time to let go of this addiction, but I don't believe that it's impossible.
Tomorrow I start my senior year of college, hello 18 credits! Exactly 30 credits and 9 months stand between me and graduation. I am so ready.
My first 5k is 2 weeks away! I'm excited, nervous and a little anxious to get it out of the way. With the way this year started for me, I really just thought it'd be another year of unhappiness with myself and my body, but I'm finally on the up and excited to see the results.
My first weight loss goal is 30 pounds by December 31st. I will keep you all updated with my weigh ins at 1st and 15th of every month :)
In closing, I leave you with a video of Coco. She was an addition to the family for the last several months, but is now in North Carolina with my cousin Brad again.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Run, run, run.
This summer, along with working and wedding planning I've been participating in a Couch to 5k program. Technically, I should be in week 6 or 7 right now, but I'm just starting week 4. I started in the beginning of the summer then found out I had to have a second surgery on my ankle and it back tracked me a bit. At this point, I'll just be finishing the 9 week program by the time I run my first 5k on September 21st.
I've never been a runner, ever. Even back when I played basketball from grade school until the beginning of high school I was always the slowest person on the team long before I was ever dealing with being as heavy as I am now. Looking back on it now, I don't think I ever tried as hard as I could have. They always say hindsight is 20/20, but really if 5 years ago I had taken exercising and eating healthy more serious I could be a full blown runner.
So what's the plan?
Well, as you know Cameron and I are both on a mission to be as fit and healthy as we can be on the day of our wedding. We don't want to look back with regret saying things like "If only I had.." or "I wish.." No I want to be able to pick whatever dress I want to and be happy with the way I look. With 11 months on the clock, it's obviously now or never. So here are some of my goals..
Along with all of this, my ultimate goal is run a half marathon. There is one in Kenosha in May 2012, but I don't know if I will be ready for this by then, but it's more of a long term goal for now. I'm confident if I'm consistent with training and working at it everyday, I can accomplish these goals. I'm trying to be as public as I can be about this because I know accountability is key.
Please be praying for me throughout these next few months that I stick to these goals and don't give up like times in the past.
To end in one of my favorite quotes:
"If you want to do it all you have to do is do it" -Ben Davis
I've never been a runner, ever. Even back when I played basketball from grade school until the beginning of high school I was always the slowest person on the team long before I was ever dealing with being as heavy as I am now. Looking back on it now, I don't think I ever tried as hard as I could have. They always say hindsight is 20/20, but really if 5 years ago I had taken exercising and eating healthy more serious I could be a full blown runner.
So what's the plan?
Well, as you know Cameron and I are both on a mission to be as fit and healthy as we can be on the day of our wedding. We don't want to look back with regret saying things like "If only I had.." or "I wish.." No I want to be able to pick whatever dress I want to and be happy with the way I look. With 11 months on the clock, it's obviously now or never. So here are some of my goals..
- Run at least one mile everyday leading up to September 21st
- Complete my first 5k in 45 minutes or less
- Run my second 5k on October 16th the entire time
- Do the Turkey Day Run, 2 miles
- Train through the winter months, 10 miles a week
- Run my first 10k in February
Along with all of this, my ultimate goal is run a half marathon. There is one in Kenosha in May 2012, but I don't know if I will be ready for this by then, but it's more of a long term goal for now. I'm confident if I'm consistent with training and working at it everyday, I can accomplish these goals. I'm trying to be as public as I can be about this because I know accountability is key.
Please be praying for me throughout these next few months that I stick to these goals and don't give up like times in the past.
To end in one of my favorite quotes:
"If you want to do it all you have to do is do it" -Ben Davis
Monday, August 8, 2011
Thoughts and updates.
Hello everyone!
I have been seriously slacking on writing and I know it'll only get worse once the summer ends.
In other wedding news, I can finally announce the wedding party :)
My sister, Rachael (MOH, as I've mentioned previously)
Cameron's sister, April
My cousin, Gina
My friend, Monica
Cameron's brother, Dean (Best Man)
My brother, Eric
Cameron's friend, Rob
Cameron's friend, Tom
Ushers
My brother-in-law, Russ
Cameron's friend, Josh
** We're really excited that these people will be spending our big day with us!
There's another thing that I wanted to share with everyone. For the years that Cameron and I have spent together, I could never really express fully how he makes me feel. When we were driving home last week from Tennessee, I was thinking about how on previous vacations I used to be so anxious to get home to get back into the swing of things and see friends and such. As we were driving along, I realized that this feeling doesn't really exist anymore to me. With Cameron right next to me, he has filled a portion of my heart that I didn't know needed to be filled. It was at that point I knew not only that I love this man, but he really does complete me.
I have been seriously slacking on writing and I know it'll only get worse once the summer ends.
- Cameron and I just got back from vacation last week. We went to Tennessee with my family and had a great time. The heat there is killer and I wasn't sure if the corolla was going to make it up our driveway in the mountains, but overall it was a good trip and was nice to spend time with the family.
- I also won tickets to the American Idol concert last week and it was fantastic. I loved this season so it was awesome to be able to go.
- I will be starting my final year of undergrad in September. This summer has gone by so fast it's hard to believe. I got my Degree Audit last week which gives me the "OK" to graduate in May.
In other wedding news, I can finally announce the wedding party :)
My sister, Rachael (MOH, as I've mentioned previously)
Cameron's sister, April
My cousin, Gina
My friend, Monica
Cameron's brother, Dean (Best Man)
My brother, Eric
Cameron's friend, Rob
Cameron's friend, Tom
Ushers
My brother-in-law, Russ
Cameron's friend, Josh
** We're really excited that these people will be spending our big day with us!
There's another thing that I wanted to share with everyone. For the years that Cameron and I have spent together, I could never really express fully how he makes me feel. When we were driving home last week from Tennessee, I was thinking about how on previous vacations I used to be so anxious to get home to get back into the swing of things and see friends and such. As we were driving along, I realized that this feeling doesn't really exist anymore to me. With Cameron right next to me, he has filled a portion of my heart that I didn't know needed to be filled. It was at that point I knew not only that I love this man, but he really does complete me.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
The countdown is on.
Hey everyone!
It's a been a while since I posted on here, but today is a great day to update because tomorrow marks one year until the wedding! We went to David's Bridal today and got swatches of the colors we want for the big day. The colors we've decided to go with are..
Black, Jade, and Mercury
I know you're thinking, Mercury - what's that? It's a new color to DB.. a dark gray. Real classy :) The dress that I picked for the bridesmaids you can view here
We're also thinking for the groomsmen this
We haven't decided exactly how we want to arrange the colors as far as dresses, vests and ties, but we still have time :)
Along with that, I had a big personal accomplishment myself today. As some of you know, I started the Couch to 5k Program. Well, today about half way through my walk/run my headphones ripped out of my itouch when they caught on the treadmill causing the music to play really weird. I got upset and just decided to leave, but when I got in the car and sat for a minute I decided if I quit today, I'll quit for the rest of the week (happened before) plus I was already half way through... so I brought my self back inside and finished my workout strong! I'm excited to finish the third workout on Friday and after that 8 weeks to go til' my first 5k!
Back to wedding stuff, so far we've booked the photographer, venue, limo and DJ. We've made arrangements for invitations, flowers and desserts and today we went to Shaw's to look at a ring for Cameron. I'm really excited to get through the next 366 days (leap year) and marry the love of my life!
It's a been a while since I posted on here, but today is a great day to update because tomorrow marks one year until the wedding! We went to David's Bridal today and got swatches of the colors we want for the big day. The colors we've decided to go with are..
Black, Jade, and Mercury
I know you're thinking, Mercury - what's that? It's a new color to DB.. a dark gray. Real classy :) The dress that I picked for the bridesmaids you can view here
We're also thinking for the groomsmen this
We haven't decided exactly how we want to arrange the colors as far as dresses, vests and ties, but we still have time :)
Along with that, I had a big personal accomplishment myself today. As some of you know, I started the Couch to 5k Program. Well, today about half way through my walk/run my headphones ripped out of my itouch when they caught on the treadmill causing the music to play really weird. I got upset and just decided to leave, but when I got in the car and sat for a minute I decided if I quit today, I'll quit for the rest of the week (happened before) plus I was already half way through... so I brought my self back inside and finished my workout strong! I'm excited to finish the third workout on Friday and after that 8 weeks to go til' my first 5k!
Back to wedding stuff, so far we've booked the photographer, venue, limo and DJ. We've made arrangements for invitations, flowers and desserts and today we went to Shaw's to look at a ring for Cameron. I'm really excited to get through the next 366 days (leap year) and marry the love of my life!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
When life happens and we don't realize it.
As many of you know, in February I broke my ankle. This was an extremely difficult time for me and those around me. I remember after I had surgery and probably the first two weeks of recovery I just fell into this dark, dark place. Since I'm studying psychology, I wasn't surprised at how easy it was for me to become depressed. As each day went by it would get easier some days and harder too. Transition from the boot and the walker, to just the boot, to regular shoes again seemed to happen in no time. People would tell me almost everyday how shocked they were at my turn around. I was shocked too, but I still struggled a ton with certain things. The hardest thing for me was stairs. While most people would think that going up would be harder (because it is IRL) going down was the real task. It didn't take me long to go up stairs normally, but it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I was able to go down the stairs without feeling pain. The reason why I bring this up is because it took me a few times to go down stairs without feeling pain before I realized it was actually happening. For weeks, the only thing I could think about was my situation and my pain. I dreaded any situations where I knew I would have to walk long distances and I had to consciously think about walking on uneven surfaces.
I think this is the case with so many situations in life. A "major" event happens and we don't know what to do, how to deal or if life will ever get better. Days go by, some days it's easy to deal with and other days, the days we're confronted with the past of the event or the memory of that person and it feels like we're pushed back to day 1. The day it happened, the day we knew life could never get better.I felt like that several times post surgery. I'd have one bad day where I couldn't make it back to bed faster or I'd go days without having to take anything to manage the pain and then one day all I can think about is getting some relief.
Somewhere along the way, whether it's days, months or years - life gets better. This event doesn't consume every minute of our day. It's hard to tell when and how it happened, but we're happier and maybe we've even got over it. I can say first hand I've gone through this with other situations. Just like everyone else, I've thought - it cannot get any worse than this and it has, but it always gets better. And the day when things get better without you even realizing it is when you really learn something. I've learned that these minor situations are hard, but they could always be worse. And no matter how much I wanted to believe that they would be the end of me, it wasn't.
The day I broke my ankle, I remember thinking "these days are going to get worse and worse" and less than 3 months later, I was engaged and happier than ever. We will always go through rough patches in life. We lose a job, get a bad grade, a relationship falls apart, lose a relative and while it seems like hope couldn't be farther away - one day the pain will subside and most likely, we won't even realize it.
I think this is the case with so many situations in life. A "major" event happens and we don't know what to do, how to deal or if life will ever get better. Days go by, some days it's easy to deal with and other days, the days we're confronted with the past of the event or the memory of that person and it feels like we're pushed back to day 1. The day it happened, the day we knew life could never get better.I felt like that several times post surgery. I'd have one bad day where I couldn't make it back to bed faster or I'd go days without having to take anything to manage the pain and then one day all I can think about is getting some relief.
Somewhere along the way, whether it's days, months or years - life gets better. This event doesn't consume every minute of our day. It's hard to tell when and how it happened, but we're happier and maybe we've even got over it. I can say first hand I've gone through this with other situations. Just like everyone else, I've thought - it cannot get any worse than this and it has, but it always gets better. And the day when things get better without you even realizing it is when you really learn something. I've learned that these minor situations are hard, but they could always be worse. And no matter how much I wanted to believe that they would be the end of me, it wasn't.
The day I broke my ankle, I remember thinking "these days are going to get worse and worse" and less than 3 months later, I was engaged and happier than ever. We will always go through rough patches in life. We lose a job, get a bad grade, a relationship falls apart, lose a relative and while it seems like hope couldn't be farther away - one day the pain will subside and most likely, we won't even realize it.
Friday, June 10, 2011
To my mom.
After getting off the phone with my mom today I had a revelation about growing up. We spoke about this mix up with our phone bill (one of the many ways she still supports me) and I was driving home and thinking about our relationship and the phases its gone through. For those of you who know my mom, we're a lot alike in both looks and personality. For the most part, we've always gotten along, but we've had rough patches (like most teenage girls and their mothers). The hardest part about fighting with my mom is that we fight the same way, we're both overly sensitive and extremely defensive. Sometimes I feel like I might just accomplish the same goal if I stand in front of the mirror and scream at myself. Along with our personalities, we're both major home bodies. There have been so many weekends over the last several years where we will just lay in her bed for hours upon hours watching lifetime movies and crime TV. These are some of the best memories I have and the reason I'm getting teary writing this. If you've been around my mom and I, you know that there's a lot of sarcasm, but a ton of laughter. The sad thing that I'm coming to realize is that I'm getting older, I'll be moving out in a little over a year and there won't be a lot of these times once I'm forced to be an adult. I think back to the times where I would get so mad at her for reasons I can't even remember now and wish I could just erase that portion of my life. For every time I've made her feel bad, for every time I made her cry and for every time I was too stubborn to listen to what she said to me I wish I could just take back. For me growing up isn't hiding that those things ever happened, but realizing just how much my mom has done for me and being grateful for that. She sacrificed to make sure I never missed a school dance, a class trip, a concert I wanted to go and all other things that I really could have gone without. I appreciate my mom a lot more than I probably ever did in the past and hope that I can have the same closeness with my daughter one day.
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